You may have lived trying to think yourself into solidity, which can only be held through acceptance of imperfection inward and out. Perfectionism is both a power of belief through determination of ones greatness and a silent burden that all but guarantees failure and dissapointment. Leading to negative self image before subsequent sabotage that is the nature of retarts, circumstances, and Obssessive compulsory behavior. be aware, but lose the idea that things need be, before life can continue.